Every once in a while you hit that point in life where everything is just meaningless. Nothing amounts to nothing, has little or no value and you basicly don't give a shit about anything and sometimes anyone else. This holds true for every age, whether a dumb young fuck or an old one.
Nihilism is a strong component/opponent in daily life and must be fought, given into, resisted and gloriously embraced for you to have a harmonious 'it's the closest you'll get to peace' existence. Much like anything else, nihilism also has the good and evil/positive and negative side embedded in the center of it's malicious heart.
Opposing, confusing and most likely disturbing thoughts are having a bare knuckles and bitch slap fight in the catacombs of your mind, throwing out any logic, reason and sensibility and will have you crawling on hands and knees for it to end. Think again chump, it won't!
A strong mind can endure this battle for days on end and will come out bruised yet graceful in beating the ugly bastard. A weak, fragile and easily manipulative mind however is subdued by it's tentacles and wretched claws during this ferocious and most brutal assault on the psyche. Hence forth, one learns and moves on with much additional knowledge to face the next fight, and one never seems to cope and is constantly entangled in that creeping colorless abyss, all the while pondering 'why is this happening to me', yet never facing and confronting that selfmade beast called fear of something that is tearing you inside out; you. Positive and negative effect.
People going crazy and off the wall and blowing themselves up is no new thing though. You'll most likely hear people during the day talking about how humanity is getting worse and the situation is not getting better and, of course, lest we forget, the much awaited boiling pot tentatively called the apocalypse!
Newsflash: It has always been this way. Every generation has the same boring fucking doomsayers a plenty with either the same old 'goddamn story' or thinks up a new one made up of all the tasteless ingredients the others had to offer and kindles a fire that will never ever go out, believe you me! Awareness is the key word here. The more you are aware, the more you'll see, the more you start to worry.
When you're young you're just less aware and more stupefied by how your dick works and where it goes. It's all about fucking. Fucking up, fucking the couch, fucking sideways, fucking your hand, but mostly just fucking up. But when you start to age and find yourself somewhat content with your surroundings all the bullshit comes at you in massive tsunami waves from all sides in form of diseases, internet, abbreviations, bills, bills, incessant giberish, fake hair, fake beards, fake tans, flacid promises, weak trepidations, a whole catalogue and variety of bullshit, debts and more bills.
Growing up is great, but for the fact that you always have and always will have to cater to someone else's bullshit some time or another for good or bad, better or worse til death still does not part the habit from the human. There's no how, no way this can be avoided.
Think about how you live your life everyday from the moment you stand up, to that first toilet visit (which is a place away from other's bullshit and is only filled with your shit and utter crap you think of, before inhaling and exhaling to go out into the noise again) and watch and listen how many times til bedtime you have in between wasted your time and energy on the bullshit of others... surprising, isn't it? Yet it bares trueth on what one really feels.
Getting back to nihilism, it consumes, destroys yet livens and tests you everyday to become something you are kind of, somewhat okay to live with. It's what is called happiness.
However dark, morose, vile and putrid this scum life is, it is ALL up to you how you choose to deal with any card you've been dealt. Just pray it's not the Death card. Me? I'm going for the old fool act and keep my middlefingers crossed everyday to keep the leeches away and keep my middlefingers up if you want an answer.
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